Letters

The more contacts you make, the sooner you will get the job you want. "Simple common sense," you say. "Everyone knows that."

Maybe. Yet, as we have seen, even top sales executives overlook the simplest rules of selling when looking for a job. For they forget that a job hunt is a sales campaign.

Since every salesman must meet with a number of "no's" for every "yes," the good salesman lets the law of averages work for him. He smokes out every worthwhile contact he can, confident that the more prospects he reaches, the more sales he makes. The same holds true for your job campaign.

We can never emphasize this point too strongly. You are offering your services in the toughest market there is. The more closely you adhere to sound selling principles, the more likely is your success.

At the Man Marketing Clinics the "shotgun" letter has proven one of the best ways of getting leads. A shotgun, you know, scatters its shot widely, where a rifle concentrates its fire on one spot. <pg. 170> A shotgun letter will advertise your wares to as many firms as you wish.

It takes more than a good letter to land a job. But the wellplanned letter opens the door for you to sell yourself in an interview.

Cover enough ground to intrigue the prospective employer and make him want to see you, speak to you, and find out more about you.

It's not easy to write a good prospecting letter, but it's worth all the effort you put into it. For good letters are rare. That's why they almost always get careful consideration.

Many firms receive thousands of direct mail job appeals each year. Your letter must be good enough to get past the secretaries who weed out all except those of unusual interest.

Because the value of a good prospecting letter is unquestioned, many rules have been formed on the subject. While they are quite useful they have two common weaknesses.

First, they tend to swamp the reader with long lists of "do's" and "don't's." Undoubtedly, some things belong in a good letter, others don't. But once you grasp the underlying principle, the do's and the don't's will automatically fall into place. The wording, the style, the content will differ from letter to letter. But one basic ingredient is common to all the good ones: they appeal to the prospect's self-interest.

Your prospecting letter is a sales letter. If you key its message to your prospect's interests, needs, and desires, it will sell. Let your reader see at once the promise of a real benefit to him or to his firm. Add only whatever will build a more tempting picture of that benefit, then stop. Close by asking for an interview.

Secondly, letter-writing manuals lay too great an emphasis on being different and original. This often leads to strained and artificial "cleverness."

Of course, you should be different. Your letter must compete with thousands of others. You want to attract attention, get a full and careful reading. You can do it with a natural, straightforward approach.

Offer a service. Show how you can make good on that offer. Then ask for an interview. <pg. 171>

Jack Curry was out to be a railroad man. A stocky, slow-talking young man, he came regularly to the Man Marketing Clinic where he listened closely to all that was said. Chiming in with a wellconsidered word here and there, he helped a number of others plot out their campaigns. Soon he impressed all with his ability to cut through to the very core of a problem.

Having worked through all the goal-choosing procedures, Jack knew what he wanted. And more, he knew what he had to offer. Now he was ready to swing into action.

Deciding that intelligent interest and enthusiasm were his major assets, Jack worked hard to capture those qualities on paper. This is the letter he sent to the presidents of the leading railroads in the country:

Dear Mr. Arlington:

More than anything else in the world, I want to have a part in helping the railroads roll on to greater achievement. I am especially interested in the promotion side: getting more passengers and more freight. Naturally, I will have to work up to that.

Whenever I am in a railroad station I plan excursions that might prove profitable; I figure out groups of people who might be approached to develop profitable business. When I ride on trains I study whether the service is as good as could be rendered. I have talked with many truckers, and have some idea of what truck competition means.

I have a sound engineering training, with as many courses in railroading as I could get.

Experience? I am president, dispatcher, and ticket agent of my own railroad that crisscrosses my basement floor. I know every engine you own; I have made scale models of some of them. I know your important schedules; I think I know some of your problems.

In short, I have an absorbing interest that I believe I can turn into profits for your road. I shall call you Tuesday morning, <pg. 172> and hope you will find it convenient to see me. (For out of town firms, he changed the last sentence to read: I shall appreciate very much a word from you, suggesting a time and place where I may see you or your representative.)

Sincerely yours,

Jack Curry

Make no mistake about it: this letter is a gem. Original without being bizarre, it paved the way to three offers. One was just what Jack wanted.

What makes his letter so outstanding? Let's see what Jack himself says about it.

"I knew it was tough to break into railroading," he told the Clinic. "I figured job letters must pour into the executive offices by the bushel. So I assumed my first few sentences must click -or I was sunk.

"I sweated for days trying to dream up a trick approach, some stunt that would win attention. But one part of my mind kept chewing over the benefit angle we always talk about here. Finally I decided upon a candid statement of interest wrapped in a service package. That did it."

And that did do it! But it took days of thought and writing and rewriting.

See how splendidly Jack builds up a giving rather than getting feeling from beginning to end. He wants "a part in helping the railroads roll on to greater achievement." Note how neatly this identifies the railroads' interests with his own. He sees the promotion side (and this is a clear statement of aim) as a means of "getting more passengers and more freight." Again his interests and the railroad's become identical.

Whenever he travels he mulls over ideas that might "develop profitable business" for the railroad. He talks to truckers so that he can come to grips with the problem of truck competition.

And at the end he wraps it all up with a promise of benefit. "I have an absorbing interest that I believe I can turn into profits for your road."

What businessman wouldn't respond to such a sincere and intelligent show of interest? Jack's deft handling of the "no-experience bugaboo" also merits <pg. 173> close study. Don't let the disarming humor of his toy railroad "presidency" blind you to the way he transmutes his hobby into experience. Here too, he casually adds to the outgoing tone of his letter. "I know every engine you own; I have made scale models of some ..

Having long since grasped the full meaning of the asset-digging process, Jack knows that everything you do is experience when viewed properly. Seen thus, you will never be tripped by the question -- "Experience?"

Jack Curry summed it up in his own get-to-the-heart-of-it fashion. "Review your full life experience in the light of the demands of the job you're after. Emphasize what you have. Don't waste time apologizing for what you haven't."

Let us go back for a moment to the way Jack dramatizes his marked interest in railroads. Many others try the same tack but get nowhere. Why do they fail?

Look over those first two sentences again. "More than anything else in the world, I want to have a part in helping the railroads roll on to greater achievement. I am especially interested in the promotion side: getting more passengers and more freight."

Having read thousands of job letters we know that most writers aiming to capitalize on their interest in the field would have missed the main chance. They might have written: "More than anything else in the world, I want to work in railroading. I am especially interested in the promotion side."

Both versions display interest and both state specifically what the writer wants. Which is all to the good. But the second version has a defect that weakens far too many letters. The interest is self-centered. It is "I"-minded rather than "you"-minded.

Once spotted, this flaw is easily removed. Take Johnny Britten, one of the high school group we worked with. In his first letter Johnny wrote: "I will graduate from Central High School in June. I took two years of business arithmetic and the full bookkeeping course. Because I like keeping books I am willing to start at a low salary in order to get experience."

As another student pointed out, Johnny's interest was centered on himself rather than on his prospect. Accepting this criticism, Johnny rewrote his letter. Like this: <pg. 174>

The change required no literary fireworks. The letter is still on Johnny's own level. But what a different feeling he creates when he offers a service right off!

He will "keep your books as you would like to have them." In natural sequence he cites his school work to prove he can do it. And do it ..... for you neatly and accurately."

The full power of this "you" approach lies in its dual impact. For in gratifying the reader it also boosts the writer's self-confidence. Here's what we mean.

We asked Johnny, "Why did you drop the bargain this time? You don't mention the ‘low salary’ in exchange for ‘experience.’"

"I didn't have to bargain," said John. "I had something to give this time."

There you have it. Adopting the "you" attitude makes you think over what you have, helps you dig out your assets. When you know you have something your prospect wants and offer it to him naturally, you have the makings of a good sales presentation. Confidence grows when you have something to give. And it shows through the interviews that follow upon your letter.

When you stress service, you achieve originality and arouse favorable interest more safely than when you strain for "cleverness.

Lest we seem to be condemning the clever "trick" or story letters out of hand, let us make haste to say they do have their place. Generally, they give best results in fields where originality, imagination, and writing ability are part of the what-it-takes picture. Consider this beautifully done off-beat letter Bryce Warren composed. <pg. 175>

BRYCE C. WARREN
Two River Drive,
Larchurst, New York

August 6, 19--.

Dear Mr. Alvord:

For over an hour now I have been sitting here in the quiet of my home, mulling over a problem. The setting is perfect for some "deep thinking" ... the folks are out and even Jack has obligingly gone to sleep, curled pretzel-like with his nose buried under his tail. I thought the answer to the problem would be easy, for, like every other man who has to work for a living, I have lived this moment before ... the time when I would have to seek a new connection . . . the method I would use . . . and the type of organization with which I would choose to spend the most valuable years of my life.

I had a formula. But when faced with the actual problem of writing to Mr. Alvord, I find it hard to determine what part of my background in advertising, marketing, and sales promotion will most appeal to him.

Will he be most interested in the fact that I have selected P. & F. Alvord as the company to whose success I feel I can contribute most?... Or will he be interested in typical "success stories" such as these -- For Alabama Products Corporation, on a new product, I boosted their sales from $0 to $500,000 in six months -- For Hockhannock Paper Company I found a new market for a surplus product and, through sales and advertising campaigns, captured 45 per cent of the quality wallpaper market in one year -- For B. E. Parsons Company, manufacturers of a building specialty, I developed a complete sales promotional and advertising campaign, linking producers, wholesalers, and contractors into one united drive, which brought an increase of 23 per cent to the industry as a whole.

On the other hand, will my familiarity with both industrial and consumer fields be of prime importance?.. . or my knowledge of markets? . . . or will my ability to coordinate advertising and sales promotional problems be the factor that will arouse his interest?

And so I think the safest thing to do is to sit down and write <pg. 176> Mr. Alvord a letter to arrange for an interview at his convenience, at which time I can show him my portfolio of "facts." Don't you think that's a good idea?

Sincerely yours,

Bryce G. Warren

Mr. Charles Alvord,
P. & F. Alvord, Inc.,
Rochester, New York.

---

Cleverness paid off for Mr. Warren. If you feel you can bring it off too, by all means work out a similar stunt approach. Bear in mind, however, these three points.

First, Bryce Warren works in a field where this sort of thing is appreciated. Do you?

Second, the clever letter calls for considerable writing skill. One slip and it falls flat on its face.

Third, don't let your eagerness to be clever obscure the point. Your prospecting letter must sell. Bryce never forgets this.

For all his easy informality Bryce does not wander aimlessly. He takes his prospect gently by the hand and leads him on to the second sentence of the second paragraph. There he reveals all. His thinking out loud has been done for his prospect's benefit. Bryce is trying hard to find what "will most appeal to him."

In high gear now, Bryce drives home this "you" attitude with a vengeance. ". . . I have selected P. & F. Alvord as the company to whose success I feel I can contribute most." Without further waste of time he backs up this service offer with a quick summary of money-making "success stories." Winding up, Bryce calls for action. He suggests an interview where he "can show him my portfolio."

Stripped to essentials, what do we have? Bryce offers a service, proves he can perform it, asks for an interview. In his case the off-beat note did add a unique and highly personal flavor.

What does my prospect need? Do I have what he needs? How can I show that I have it?

These questions underlie the "you" or service approach. This, <pg. 177> in turn, harks back to knowing what job you want, what it calls for, what your assets are, and your illustrations showing those assets in use.

We remind you of this because you should be dipping into your notebooks for letter material. Helen Peterson did just this and really hit the mark. Her letter pulled more requests for interviews than she could follow up.

April 1, 19-

Mr. E. F. Drinkwater,
Vice-Pres.,
Arca, Inc.
50 South 47 Street,
New York City.

Dear Mr. Drinkwater:

Your firm is the kind I would like to work for. Knowing your method of doing business and your reputation, I am sure I could fit into your organization.

For five years I worked for an important Sales Manager and appreciate what is expected of an efficient secretary.

For instance -- she must be more than just a rapid and accurate stenographer and typist. Because of my training, both practical and schoolwise, I have been able to handle the stenographic duties so easily that I have been able to relieve my chief of many duties.

For instance -- she must know how to shoulder responsibility. With the State Match Corp. I handled activities involving over $50,000 yearly. This covered the checking of art sketches and master drawings.

For instance -- she must be able to appreciate the Sales Manager's thinking. I assisted Mr. Muth in selecting commission men throughout the country, following through on contracts, ordering supplies, and the like.

For instance -- she must understand the functions of an organization and be ready to step in and pinch hit where necessary. I did this by assisting with billing, arranging book match copy, cutting stencils, and on a number of occasions in actually selling.

I am twenty-five years of age--young enough to be flexible and take instructions and old enough to assume responsibility. <pg. 178>

I should like to discuss with you how I could be of service to your company. When may I see you?

Very truly yours,

Helen Peterson
821 South 182 St.,
New York City

When analyzed, Helen's letter is simplicity itself. But such simplicity takes work -- and gets results.

From her notebook Helen picked four major secretarial requirements. Each of these she paired with a corresponding asset. That gave her the body of her letter.

Her opening sentence compels attention by virtue of its direct and dignified statement of interest. Its unaffected sincerity is strangely appealing. You can learn much from Helen's last two paragraphs:

I am twenty-five years of age-young enough to be flexible and take instructions and old enough to assume responsibility.

I should like to discuss with you how I could be of service to your company. When may I see you?

Usually, an applicant just states his age and lets it go at that. Not Helen -- she makes her statement of age work overtime by presenting it in the guise of a double-edged asset.

Excellent is the word for Helen's close. Unless you ask your prospect to buy, your sales letter lacks punch. Helen makes her pitch, all right. She asks her prospect to buy an interview.

But she wants him to buy for his benefit, not her own. She wants to talk about "how I could be of service to your company. This is the essence of salesmanship.

In short, a strong close suggests action by you or your prospect.

"I will be glad to arrange an interview at your convenience. My phone is GIlbert 6-5134." This suggests prospect action. "I will phone your secretary on Thursday to arrange for an appointment." This keeps the follow-up initiative in your own hands.

If you give a reason for action your close is even stronger. By making possible an immediate follow-up you strengthen the close still more. As Gail Manning, a commercial artist, did. <pg. 179>

When you make the reason for buying a benefit to the prospect -- then, as with Helen, you have the strongest close of all.

Just as thinking through your goals, your prospect's needs, and your assets almost automatically creates a strong service-selling attitude, the converse is equally true. That is, neglecting those things often leads to vague and colorless writing. Warren Garret's first effort produced a typical specimen of such wastebasket letters. Look it over.

Mr. W. P. Armstrong,
President
Aniseed Company, Inc.
822 West Michigan Avenue Chicago, Illinois

Dear Mr. Armstrong:

Have you an opening in your organization for a young man of my qualifications?

I am twenty-one years of age and a high school graduate. I specialized in mathematics.

I have had two years experience as a junior clerk and I worked for more than a year in a gasoline station.

I trust I may be favored with an interview.

Yours very truly,

Warren M. Garret

---

So Warren trusts he will "be favored with an interview"! What makes him think he deserves one?

He offers no service, says nothing that might stir the faintest interest. Clearly, he has made no attempt to analyze his experiences. They were just jobs.

And, by the way, what kind of job does he want now? He hasn't even bothered to figure that out for himself. Does he expect his prospect to puzzle it out for him?

Sadly enough, such letters get sent out time and again. We have read many of them. As did Warren, the senders wait in vain for a reply.<pg. 180>

Browsing in his town library, Warren came across a copy of the original edition of this book. Later, he sent us a letter. He said, in part:

I read your book in one sitting. These things stuck. Choose a goal; be specific about your assets; offer a service; show the results of your work. It was easier to write a good letter once I knew what I was doing.

Here's the proof.

June 12, 19--.

Mr. W. P. Armstrong,
President,
Aniseed Company, Inc.
822 West Michigan Ave.,
Chicago, Illinois.

Dear Mr. Armstrong:

When you are faced with the task of hiring a clerk for your statistical department, haven't you wished you knew of a young man with sales and customer relations experience and also a good background of general clerical work? I have just that experience, and also a great interest in statistical work.

My clerical experience was gained at Arnold Ellinger Corporation, the largest unit of Storrs and Company. In my two years there I received four promotions, ranging from messenger boy to Stationery Department Head.

The promotion to department head put me in charge of the messenger boy, mail and file clerk, and machine clerk, and also gave me the responsibility of ordering and keeping inventory of stationery for the plant with eight or nine hundred people. This quantity of work I accomplished with three boys, whereas the discharged head required four for the same volume. This, I think, is proof of the speed and accuracy with which I performed my duties.

My sales and customer experience was obtained in an Arcade Oil Company service station. In my two years service I came to understand customer reactions and their buying habits, thereby increasing the sales volume of the station considerably. On all this I hope to capitalize in my next position.

I am twenty-one years of age and a graduate of high school, <pg. 181> where I majored in mathematics. I plan to further this education by attending night college.

I am willing and eager to work and realize I must serve my apprenticeship before holding a position of real value. Hours and salary are minor considerations as I feel confident of proving my worth if given an opportunity.

I shall phone to check when I can come in to see you.

Yours very truly,

Warren M. Garret
422 River Road,
Calder, Illinois
Calder 7-3177

The first letter gives a clouded, faceless impression of a minor clerk with a minor talent. When he wrote it Warren was just another vague young man.

The second letter pictures an alert youngster who knows what he wants and where he is going. Analyzing his market and his experience broadened Warren's horizon. The letter reflects his growth in both character and mind.

As usual, having something specific to sell heightened Warren's confidence. You can see this by comparing the two closing sentences. His first close is timid and halting. "I trust I may be favored . . ." The second time out he takes an interview for granted. "I shall phone to check when I can come in to see you, he tells his prospect. He landed a job in the same firm that ignored his first letter.

[Henry Krantz, Restaurant Business]

Specific results are the best way to back up your service offer. Nor must they be confined to business experiences. When Henry Krantz graduated from college he decided to go into the restaurant business. This is the paragraph that got him started. (His boss told him so.)

When I took over the management of my fraternity dining room in my junior year there was a deficit of $258. Two years later, when I graduated, there was a favorable balance of $394. Although the cost of food and help had risen, there was agreement that the table was just as good, and the meals better balanced. <pg. 182>

And see how two executives strengthened their letters by following this selling results approach. Charley Adams changed this paragraph:

I know the direct mail business thoroughly, from the angle of both the direct mail specialist and the manufacturer. For one firm I built up a mail order department which sold $500,000 worth of business annually.

to this:

A mail order department I supervised for one firm sold over $500,000 of goods every year I was with them. By the end of the first year the department I started was outselling the sales force of eighteen men. A single letter of mine sold over $35,000 worth of a silverware specialty. Another direct mail idea, costing less than $150, sold over 4,000,000 paper specialties in a highly competitive market.

And J. Phillip Storm changed this one:

I am thoroughly familiar with all phases of production control and time study work. I have planned the procedure and routing of work, established incentive systems, made flow chart analyses, set standards on all types of operations. Substantial savings have resulted from this work.

to:

Among the savings effected in my present job are these:

By placing the millwrights on an incentive basis, I cut the cost of maintenance by 50 per cent, owing to improved planning and assignment of work.

By using the principles of motion study in the spraying department, I cut the cost of one of our largest sellers by 80 per cent, with no extra effort on the part of the worker and with a 10 per cent increase in bonus to him.

By establishing an incentive system in a department where supervision was poor, I increased production by 400 per cent and reduced the number of workers by 40 per cent while increasing the pay of the remaining workers by 25 per cent. Planning the procedure of work accounted for a large part of the savings.

My flow chart analysis effected a saving of 25 per cent in the handling of our largest line.<pg. 183>

In any case, length is no measure of "sell." True, some feel anything more than one page is hopeless -- indeed, almost sinful. Let us examine one leisurely letter. Then we can have a few more words on this matter of length.

A. S. WEIGAND & ASSOCIATES
544 Madison Avenue
New York

August 9, 19--.

President XV. S. Bradley,
Carolina College,
Ambrose, North Carolina.

Dear President Bradley:

Colleges are usually very much interested in stimulating active alumni support, in keeping up enrollment, and in having their worth properly presented to the public in general and to those who might be interested in contributing to the cause of education.

With this in mind, I am seeking to become a full-time director of public relations for some fine school with the thought of assisting its President to solve some of these problems. My experience has fitted me to do a really fine job of this sort.

I am a graduate of Mansfield College, hold a master's degree from Morton, and have done a year's post-graduate work in education at Harvard.

For a dozen years I was engaged in the teaching profession. I was a master at Eastern Academy, Benning, Conn., and then served as principal of the high school at Proudhurst, New York. The latter was said, by the Commissioner of Education for the State of New York, to be the best run high school in the state.

As Vice-President of the Northern Ranch Company, I was given the job of returning a profit on 25,000 acres in northern Wyoming. I founded and operated ranch camps for young people which became nationally known, helped to promote <pg. 184> two successful guest ranches, and established a fine ranch school for boys which offered a full, four-year, college-preparatory course.

All advertising, publicity, and business-getting for the company was in my hands; and I personally sold over $3,000,000 worth of ranch vacations to discriminating people. These included families of a former president of the United States, two state governors, a dozen editors of important publications, and many presidents of our largest corporations.

When the ranch business ceased to function in 1933, I became engaged in the writing of annuities and life insurance and have developed an insurance auditing service. I have sold contracts to 22 people who are listed in "Who's Who in America" and who were total strangers to me in 1933.

My father was a University President. Almost half my life has been lived on a college campus so that I know the feel and the atmosphere. I have devoted twenty-two years to the interest and development of young people; for this reason, I propose to make any further contribution to the field of education rather than to the commercial world.

I have had two books published by well-known publishing houses. I have done extensive speaking in public.

If you have done me the courtesy to have read this letter thus far and feel that I may have something to offer you, either in the specific field of public relations or in some other capacity, I will very much appreciate having you get in touch with me.

Sincerely,

A. S. Weigand

---

Set on contributing "to the field of education," Mr. Weigand slants all his experience toward that end. For a commercial position he would not lead off with his education and teaching background as he does here. See how he squeezes further "field of education" meat from his executive duties with Northern Ranch. And this campus orientation dictates the letter's leisurely pace.

The results show he read the academic mind well. He sent out 158 letters. They drew seventy-four replies, eight extended negotiations -- and the job he wanted. <pg. 185>

Campus bound or not, Mr. Weigand does not neglect the "you" approach. His second paragraph makes clear he wants to work "for some fine school" to help "its President... solve some (of his) problems." But why water it down with that impersonal air? Your fine school rather than "some" and you instead of "its President" would add warmth and intimacy to the message.

Observe the "if" heading up the last sentence. Doubtless it sits well here. Its chaste modesty may suit the academic temperament. Indeed, that whole closing sentence with its "If you have . . . read . . . and feel that I may" is designed so as to undersell.

Beware of "ifs" in your close, otherwise. They slip in insidiously and weaken your pitch.

Used as above, an "if" raises a doubt in your prospect's mind. It gives him a choice of "yes" or "no." That won't do. Assume your letter hit home. Take it for granted your prospect wants to see you. Then give him a choice of "when" not of "if."

Not, "Please let me know if I can see you." Rather, "Please let me know when I can see you. Still more positive is something like "You can reach me at SLocum 3512." Or, "I will call your secretary for an appointment." In short, take the sale for granted. Leave the naming of the day as the only question to be decided.

Getting back to the matter of brevity, you might agree that Weigand’s slow-moving letter fit his purpose well. "But business is different," you might add. "A busy executive wants his letters short and to the point."

The longest letter in our experience was written by an executive. "I want a $25,000 job," he began. Then he went on for twenty-one pages to justify this request. He sent out 250 letters and wound up with three offers at his desired salary level. He took twenty-one pages to justify his request. That's the heart of the matter. Your letter must establish your right to the job you want. It must back up your offer of service with proof you can come through.

If you can do this in a page -- fine! But if you need three pages -- take three pages! The main thing is to get your message across. <pg. 186>

That's why when asked "How long should a good letter be?" we make a stock reply. "We'll tell you how long a letter should be if you'll tell us how long a bridge should be."

A bridge is as long as necessity dictates. So is a letter. Of course, you must know when to stop. But this is not as difficult as you might imagine. When you have nothing more to say that will appeal to your prospect's sell-interest -- stop.

Having made our point, we must add a word of caution. Take as much space as you need to tell your story, but be as brief as you can in the telling. This calls for careful editing.

Cut out every word, phrase, or sentence that does not help build a picture of the job you can do. Each sentence must tickle your prospect's sell-interest. If it doesn't, then strike it out!

Short or long, your letter should look easy to read. You can do this by keeping your sentences and paragraphs short. Keep a dictionary handy to help you make little words out of big ones. And check your spelling while you're at it.

Go back again to Mr. Weigand's first two paragraphs:

Colleges are usually very much interested in stimulating active alumni support, in keeping up enrollment, and in having their worth properly presented to the public in general and to those who might be interested in contributing to the cause of education.

With this in mind, I am seeking to become a full-time director of public relations for some fine school with the thought of assisting its President to solve some of these problems. My experience has fitted me to do a really fine job of this sort.

Tightened in this fashion, the opening makes easier reading. What's more, it emphasizes the offer of service.

Albert 0. Whalen is a good credit man. But his first letter laid an egg. Mailings: 53; results: 0. When he wrote another, in <pg. 187> line with the simple principles we've studied, enough replies rolled in to give him a choice of jobs. Read them both. Then, as we compare them critically, you will see why the first one quietly died.

2109 South 81. Street,
New York, N. Y.,

August 18, 19--.

Mr. M. N. McManus,
President,
The Best Jobbing Company,
New Orleans, Louisiana

Dear Mr. McManus:

You, of course, are not unmindful of the fact that in all well-managed organizations the credit department is recognized as a vital organ for success.

This being true, you no doubt will give consideration to having associated with you a man with fifteen years' experience in wholesale credits.

My qualifications are herewith summarized from A to Z, and set up in the form of assets and liabilities with a ratio of twenty-six to two. A financial statement with a ratio of four to one is considered very good.

The writer asks the opportunity to contact you for a personal interview at your convenience, and encloses a selfaddressed, stamped envelope for you to make the appointment. May I hear from you, please?

Satisfactory references can be furnished upon request.

Very truly yours,

Albert 0. Whalen

---

ASSETS

Ability to analyze financial statements, adjust, and audit.
Budget the debtor's business.
Collect and cooperate with salesmen.
Define a balance sheet and demand settlement at proper time.
Educate debtors to the value of credit ratings.
Facilitate accounting systems.
Grant credit lines consistently. <pg. 188>
Handle large as well as small accounts.
Investigate accounts; install accounting systems.
Judge the character and capacity of debtors.
Know credit problems; kindle new business.
Limit hazardous risks.
Maintain harmony; merit confidence; manage office.
Negotiate for volume; neutralize misunderstandings.
Obtain new business; observe weak customers.
Pave the way for salesmen; prepare accounts for future business.
Preserve the good will while getting the money.
Rate the accounts; reduce credit losses.
Supervise office; stimulate salesmen.
Tabulate credit losses as to critical aspects.
Uncover unethical methods; unravel errors.
Verify financial statements; value assets.
Weigh weighty problems; wage collection campaigns.
X-ray the unscrupulous debtor; extract the money.
Yield when first opinion on credit is wrong.
Zigzag to avert a credit loss; zone the accounts.

LIABILITIES

Over ambitious in business.
Not satisfied with a five thousand annual income.

---

2109 South 81 Street,
New York, N. Y.,

September 6, 19--.

Mr. M. N. McManus,
President,
The Best Jobbing Company,
New Orleans, Louisiana

Dear Mr. McManus:

I would like to help keep down credit losses for The Best Jobbing Company, but without cutting out accounts.

For the B. C. Lockwood Manufacturing Co. I held losses down to one-half of one per cent -- far below the rest of the industry. <pg. 189>

BUT I did not do it by cuffing out accounts.
    I did it by increasing volume.
    I did it and still maintained a more liberal
      policy to ward both creditors and sales
      force.

This could be done because I worked with the salesmen closely, showed them where they could get more accounts, constantly worked for volume to offset my more liberal policy toward risks.

I didn't sit behind my desk; I covered the territory. I knew many of our customers personally. I showed the weak ones how to set up their books and budgets, how to merchandise their goods, how to cut their costs. For many a shaky risk, I helped to put his store on a profitable basis.

Many times I have saved an account for the business when other credit managers have given it up. Sometimes I was the only creditor who held out against putting a firm in bankruptcy. Then I showed the firm how to get back on its feet again.

In about fifteen instances where a receivership was necessary I took the job and was able to turn the firm back on a paying basis. Thus we kept our customers.

May I discuss credit problems with you? I shall take the liberty of phoning you for an appointment.

Very truly yours,

Albert 0. Whalen

---

What can this fellow do for me? That's what your prospective employer wants to find out when he picks up your letter of application. He does not want you to teach him the ABC's of his own business. Yet Mr. Whalen wastes the opening paragraph of his first letter to do exactly that.

In the second letter he gets down to cases at once. He offers "to help keep down credit losses . . . without cutting accounts."

It would be better if he inserted a "your" in stead of the phrase "for The Best Jobbing Company." That is, "I would like to help keep down your credit losses . . . " This would be shorter and more natural.

There is but one sales point in the original: his "fifteen years <pg. 189> experience in wholesale credits." But we get no evidence that he is a good credit man. We get instead, a long list of functions and qualifications, literally "from A to Z."

Contrast this with the second letter. Having offered to "keep down credit losses . . without cutting accounts," Mr. Whalen goes on to prove he's just the man to do it. We get a story of action and results that forms a portrait of an unusually fine credit manager.

In the original, Mr. Whalen does remember to make a selling close. He asks for an interview. But there are two things wrong with the way he does it.

First, he refers to himself as "the writer." This is wholly artificial. Just say "I."

Second, his stiff and stilted phrasing repels the reader.

"The writer asks the opportunity to contact you for a personal interview at your convenience, and encloses a self-addressed, stamped envelope for you to make the appointment. May I hear from you, please?"

"I would like to arrange an interview at your convenience." This is at once more businesslike and easier to read. As a matter of fact, the completely new close he uses in letter 2 is even better.

It gives a reason for an interview. "May I discuss credit problems with you?" Again, as in the first sentence, he strangely omits a "your."

"May I discuss your credit problems with you?" rounds out the service approach, is more intimate, and gives a reason that appeals to the prospect's needs.

With his "I shall take the liberty of phoning you . . ." Mr. Whalen retains the initiative for arranging an interview. But "I shall phone you" would be more direct and natural.

Assistant to an Account Executive

Here is another well-planned letter: <pg. 191>

RICHARD CRAIG
416 North 76 Street
NEW YORK CITY

July 28, 19--.

Mr. A. B. Hartwright,
President,
The Hartwright Agency,
317 So. 32 Street,
New York City.

Dear Mr. Hartwright:

My five years of experience in retailing, marketing, and advertising have been planned to fit me for a job assisting one of your account executives.

I went through the mill at Blank's and know how to get people into stores to buy goods. I developed electrical appliance promotions, handling every compelling force from pep talks to window displays. My copy in newspapers, radio, direct mail, handbills, and posters brought low cost results.

Then I built national marketing experience on this retail background. I did research and merchandising for such wellknown agencies as Bryan and Holmes, Inwood, and Murphy and Pendergast. I assisted account men with data and ideas developed from market analyses and copy tests.

Recently I have assisted the heads of another well-known agency in planning and contact capacities. Annual reports developed by me showed clients specific sales results which increased appropriations. I traveled 10,000 miles this year to diagnose weak sales areas, buy outdoor locations, and solicit prospective clients.

I worked my way through Dartmouth (A.B., 1945), and financed an extra year at Harvard Business School.

I am not the whirlwind, high-pressure type; but when I have assisted storekeepers or advertising executives, they have usually asked for me again.

May I show you my record of actual results accomplished? Just initial the enclosed reply card and I shall phone you for an appointment.

Very truly yours,

Richard Craig <pg. 192>

Richard Craig mailed fifty-one of these letters to a selected list. Within twenty-four hours he received requests for six interviews out of which came four satisfactory offers.

In an offhand manner, he establishes a "this is between you and me" feeling. All of my experience has been planned, says Richard to his prospect, to help me "assist (ing) one of your account executives."

But it's the strong close we want to call to your attention.

First, Richard gives a good, businesslike reason for an interview: to show his record of results. Then he gives his prospect something specific, immediate, and simple to do. "Just initial the enclosed reply card . . ." "Phone me at . . ." "Fill in the enclosed card . . ." "Use the sell-addressed envelope . . ."; all these action-suggested closes are good selling devices.

As the close indicates, Richard has a portfolio crammed with juicy success stories -- his "record of actual results." That's why his letter gives just a quick summary of results to avoid duplication.

LETTERS THAT DO NOT REVEAL THE IDENTITY OF THE APPLICANT

So far we've dealt with prospecting letters in which you tell your story directly to your prospects. This is the usual case.

However, there may be times when you do not care to broadcast your search for a new connection. In such cases you may get a third party to send out letters for you. (The party of the second part is your prospective employer.)

Obviously, the value of such third-party letters depends to a degree upon the prestige of the signer. He may be an esteemed banker, lawyer, or advertising agency executive. Or he may be well known in the industry or trade you are canvassing. But any businessman -- even if he is not well known -- can write a valuable third-party letter for you provided he does a good job of selling your services.

If you have no sponsor available, employment agencies sometimes write such letters for you. Since agencies are interested parties, their letters may not have quite the same effect. Still, if the agency is well known in your field, it may do the trick.

The same selling principles apply to the third-party letter as <pg. 193> to any other. So it is wise to prepare a tentative letter or outline before approaching your sponsor. Suggest that if he sends such a letter to those on your list and to men he knows, you will attend to the typing, stamps, and other details.

In many cases, your sponsor may prefer to phone people about you, rather than write. Indeed, you might suggest this alternative yourself.

Viewed ideally, the answer might be "yes." Landing the job you want can be a full-time proposition. You've got to dig out your assets; recall illustrations of your mind at work; develop one or more sales presentations; find out all you can about the firms you approach; build up prospect lists; prepare for your interviews; then follow them up. You need all the time you can find--and more.

Despite this, the answer for most people must be "no." Don't resign until you have your new job in hand.

For one reason, locating your new job may take longer than you anticipate.

Then too, the same employer who questions your ethics in not resigning may look down his nose at unemployed job applicants who seek him out. It is no disgrace to be out of work and looking for a job. Still, in many fields, and especially at the higher levels, the unemployed applicant gets less consideration. So long as this irrational bias exists, you must reckon with it.

But your most important obligation is to do justice to your present employs while working on your campaign.

END FOOTNOTE]

WATERFORD AND JONES
Advertising
ORRIN TOWER,
NEW YORK CITY

August 23, 19--.

Mr. Ralph Hinterling,
Pres., Mars Oil Company,
1822 Jones Street,
New York City.

Dear Mr. Hinterling:

Several times it has been my privilege to introduce sales executives to firms which had need of them. In each instance they have worked out favorably.

Last week I learned that one of the profitable producers in your industry was interested in broadening his activities.

He is fundamentally a salesman with wide sales experience <pg. 194> in the industry and an unusual technical experience which qualifies him to sell your products intelligently.

For five years he was with The Petroleum Laboratories, Inc., investigating gasoline and motor oils of varying specification and doing research work on gasoline combustion.

During the past seven years he has been on the sales side with a nationally known oil company. He has supervised tank wagons and service stations. He has selected service station sites. Now he is sales manager of the most productive district in his company. Let him tell you why the sales in his district have increased and how the sales have compared with other districts and with the industry as a whole.

This young man is a happy combination of fine sales personality and an unusually helpful technical experience with petroleum products.

If you would like to meet him, will you suggest a convenient time?

Sincerely yours,

J. B. Waterford

Note the double-barreled benefit opening. First Mr. Waterford points out he has sponsored other sales executives -- and that each firm that hired them profited thereby. Then he says in effect: "I've got another ‘profitable producer' -- for you."

He uses the same double-edged technique in the close. "Let him tell you why," is the first call to action. Then, of course, comes the last sentence.

The next letter is notable for its enthusiasm. Such enthusiasm is contagious -- and gets results. As it did in this case.

ARTHUR B. ANDERSON
Consulting Engineer
315 Polk Ave.,
San Francisco, Calif.

September 1, 19--.

Mr. Roy A. Backus
Backus Manufacturing Company
100 South 66 Street
San Francisco, Cal.

Dear Mr. Backus:

Is the PEN mightier than the SWORD? In the hand of a <pg. 195> man I want to tell you about, the pen is a VITAL TOOL OF MANAGEMENT. In a business organization, as COMPTROLLER, what NEW VISTAS he can open for the management!

His pen intelligently DIRECTS the sword! How many times, in business, does the sword chop off the WRONG HEAD or curtail the MOST PROFITABLE expenditure? Only by careful analysis is it possible to KNOW how much profit or loss results from a salesman's activities or a specific sales policy, or how much profit MIGHT result from some NEW expenditure of the right kind.

This friend is a certified public accountant with a college education and has had over ten years' experience in interpreting and solving accounting and managerial problems with a nationally known firm of management engineers and accountants. He is now employed.

He is experienced in inventory control, budgetary control, analysis of market data, sales, selling and distributing expenses, supervision of production planning and cost accounting, as well as auditing and system and tax work.

If you will look over some of the material showing the actual results of his work, I am sure you will realize what he has accomplished. I am going to telephone you to see if there is an opportunity for him to sit down with you for a little chat.

Yours most sincerely,

Arthur B. Anderson

You get the feeling that Mr. Anderson just can't contain himself about this "man I want to tell you about." So you think: this comptroller he's writing about must really be something.

The informality of the last "I am going to telephone you" makes a very neat closing.

The next example is quite different. For it was used only as a cover letter for the applicant's own memorandum, which was attached unsigned. <pg. 196>

ADAM H. JOHNSON
110 North 42nd Street
New York City

June 22, 19--.

Mr. R. Z. Miner,
Pres.,
The Miner Research Corp.,
15 East Lexington Avenue,
New York City

Dear Mr. Miner:

I have met the young lady who wrote the attached memo, and have seen and been interested by samples of her work.

She has imagination, reliability and technical skill. I think you would be interested, too.

May she phone you for an appointment?

Very truly yours,

Adam H. Johnson

GAL WANTS NEW JOB!

WHY?

Because she doesn't like the one she has -- in a bank. She doesn't like banks. Banks are full of precedent, red tape, and vice-presidents. And billions. She is sick unto death of places where a billion is only a comma or a movable decimal point.

So -- she wants a new job.

She is thirty-five and has had nine years business experience--graphics and statistics for three years with American Railroads Company, two years with North State Power Corporation, and four years with a large New York bank. She can show specimens from all three of various types of work.

She is an expert chartist. She is familiar with the processes of assembling, tabulating, and presenting data; can do a seasonal adjustment if necessary, can use a calculating machine, and can recognize a ratio or a percentage or a reciprocal if she sees one; has some knowledge of layout and design, and a certain flair for knowing how long a job will <pg. 197> take. You will have to take her word for this, but in four years every job has been delivered on the day and hour it was promised.

She feels that her training and background should be valuable to an advertising and research organization. She is completely cold to the movements of foreign interest rates and the daily U. S. Treasury statements, but she could work up a deep and abiding curiosity as to why people buy rye bread and red nail polish, and who listens to "The March of Time."

The memo is a good illustration of a "clever" approach that works. It shows how personality may be put on paper. But it is important not to step out of character. Otherwise, there may be a fatal letdown in the interview.

Third-party letters need not be confined to cases where the applicant's identity must be hidden. They may be treated as letters of endorsement. Used this way, they reinforce the appeal of the applicant's own letter. They can more easily get over statements about personality.

For example, the next to the last paragraph of Mr. Waterford's letter reads, "This young man is a happy combination of fine sales personality and an unusually helpful technical experience with petroleum products." Such statements may be important but in poor taste if written by the applicant himself.

Sometimes, you may use your sponsor's letter as an enclosure with your own. Or they may be mailed separately but timed to reach the prospect in the same mail. As was done in the following instance. <pg. 198>

WILLIS AND LATHROP
Publishers
322 Day Street,
New York City

June 12, 19--.

Mr. W. M. Roween,
President,
Roween Publishing Company,
Copper Building New York, N. Y.

Dear Mr. Roween:

I have such a sincere regard for some men--their selling ability and fine characters--that I feel quite humble in their presence. They have so many things I wish I had.

Don Hanley is one of them. He is writing you today. He has sold advertising in media that was hard to sell and he did it with profit to his publishers and to himself.

He has a valuable agency background, which, added to his fine interesting personality and intelligent aggressiveness, has made him one of the best advertising salesmen I know.

His letter is like him (it is probably in this same pile of mail), and if you will ask him to stop in to see you, I am very sure you will find real pleasure and profit in the interview.

I hope when he phones for an appointment, you will set a time.

Sincerely,

Philip W. Willis

Coca-Cola Co.         N. W. Ayer & Son
Cocomalt              Blackett-Sample Agcy.
General Foods Corp.   Blackman Adv., Inc.
Phillips Tooth Paste  B. B. D. & 0.
Runkomalt             J. Walter Thompson Co.
Squibbs Tooth Paste   Young & Rubicam

A represents 12 years of well-rounded advertising agency experience which included space-buying, campaign planning, and account executive.

E represents an experienced salesman, well equipped to sell space for your publications.

I shall phone you for an appointment.

Yours sincerely,

Don P. Hanley
DPH:W

In Don Hanley's letter, we have another stuntlike approach. It is no accident that each of the unique letters we have seen was used in a field where imagination is held at a premium.

The thing to note here is the bland way Mr. Willis makes the closing pitch for Don. "I hope when he phones for an appointment you will set a time." See how he leads up to this by promising "you will find real pleasure and profit in the interview."

Seventy-four of these two letters were mailed at the same time. Within two weeks they produced seventeen interviews -- and six offers for jobs!

If you are changing careers, a third-party letter can be very useful. For if the gulf is wide between what you have done before and what you now want you have to bridge the gap somehow. And the opinion of a respected sponsor who knows both types of work may well smooth the crossing.

The following letter bridged such a gap. The writer is an important executive in the business publications field and known to be a good judge of men. <pg. 200>

SANDERSON PUBLICATIONS, INC.
682 South 51 Street
NEW YORK CITY

September 20, 19--.

Mr. Orville Carter,
Carter and Closson,
Cleveland, Indiana.

Dear Mr. Carter:

Merchandising thought has undergone a pretty thorough revolution during the last couple of years. Particularly have we had to get a new slant on dealer relations. I wonder, Mr. Carter, if dealer relations are entirely a sales problem.

Which brings me to Cy Miller. I knew him first in college where he had a reputation for knowing men and handling them. I ran into him later in France where he was handling thousands of men daily and keeping them happy.

After the War he set out to demonstrate that you improve financial statements by improving human relations. Without a lot of cant humanitarianism but with a whole lot of practical ideas he went into one of the toughest spots for industrial relations we've seen in the last few years, and came out with the proof that his ideas would clean up just that kind of situation.

Over in the strike section of Pennsylvania, he won the kind of respect and admiration among people -- common folks, you know, the kind who buy and sell most of the things which are bought and sold -- that was inspiring. Up in Massachusetts -- but why go on? Any company that wants to improve relations either internally or with the public will find just the man to do it in Cy Miller.

Which brings me back to where we started this letter. A man trained as Cy has been in the study of human relations, who knows folks and why they act as they do, ought to be able to do a lot for a sales program without ever opening an order book. He knows how to work with salesmen, he knows how to work with dealers, he knows what makes folks buy.

There must be large national organizations who have been looking at this dealer relations problem in a new way, who are ready to look at the problem not alone as a sales problem <pg. 201> but as a problem in handling folks. I'd like to see some company with the courage of its convictions put Cy to work.

He's got a wonderful combination of shrewd Yankee practicality mixed with a keen understanding of human nature, plus the ability to get under people's skins, that ought to pay pretty good dividends. I happen to think he's just the man to prove that my theory of dealer relations is a big, concrete fact. Will it be for Carter and Closson?

Sincerely yours,

C. P. Sanderson

Note how convincingly Mr. Sanderson points all Mr. Miller's experience toward the job he wants, though none of it is in the same line. He even makes a positive asset of the college contacts and war experience. And see how the informal, friendly style does much to break down resistance. The repetition in the first paragraph of the name of the man addressed, and of the firm name in the last, heightens this feeling of intimacy.

In fact, if you have no one to sponsor your own career change, this shows how you can do it yourself. Doing it yourself you would, of course, omit opinions about your personality. Instead, you could give illustrations of your work that would speak for themselves.

THE RIFLE APPROACH

Even when fired hurriedly, one of a shotgun's scattered pellets may hit its mark. But a rifle must be trained on its target before you squeeze the trigger.

"Shotgun" or "rifle," your letter must observe the same selling principles -- proffered service, detailed achievements, suggested action. But the rifle letter, slanted squarely at one or a small number of prospects, calls for more careful aim.

This means research. It means finding out all you can about your prospect's business, then showing how you can contribute to its growth.

Perhaps the nature of your service limits the number of your prospects. As with Edward Bronson, whose major experience, as you may recall, was usable by only eleven firms. Or perhaps it's your own choice. In either case study your prospect's problems thoroughly before letting fly with your presentation. <pg. 202>

Larry Dean, for example, deliberately centered his aim on the Hardware Merchant. For he was out to be that publication's New York representative. As far as Larry was concerned, no other job would do.

First he scouted the terrain. He called on thirty hardware retailers and discussed with them the part trade publications played, and could play, in their business.

With that information in hand he arranged an appointment with a vice-president of the house that publishes Hardware Merchant. Together they analyzed what he had found among the retailers. After this meeting, Larry sent a letter to the vice president, concentrating on those things that had particularly interested him.

Next, Larry called on several hardware manufacturers and asked them how a trade publication could best serve their interests. He incorporated his findings in a second letter to the vice-president. This time he asked if he could send along a portfolio showing his record. The vice-president's secretary phoned an immediate request for this folder.

Shortly afterward, Larry was invited to dine with the president and vice-president. During the evening they asked him to join the staff of Hardware Merchant as their New York representative!

Larry received exactly the salary he asked for. And the two officers told him that they had not intended to add to their staff. But when Larry's research, letters, and portfolio proved he could make money for them and for himself -- they created a place for him. Or rather, they recognized he had created his own job with them.

When you shift your field of work, the rifle approach can be especially helpful. For one thing, concentrated study of a firm's needs and problems allows you to display a marked interest in that firm's welfare. Every employer likes that.

Moreover, such study shows you how to channel your past experiences into a new groove closest to your prospect's heart. You can't do that for each of several hundred firms. That's why the rifle approach is indicated when you change from one field of work to another.

Take Lon Pendleton. He wanted to sell advertising space for <pg. 203> a national publication. He had sold several food items successfully, but he had never sold space.

He found it a difficult gap to bridge. Every publication he visited wanted men with successful space-selling experience. Yet Lon knew he'd make good if he could just get the chance.

At the Clinic someone suggested that Lon use the rifle approach and concentrate on just a few publications. "In doing this," the Clinic member added, "why don't you try to salvage as much of your past experience as possible? You might study some magazines weak on food advertising then show how you can build their market."

Lon immediately saw the value of this idea. Carefully he analyzed the editorial and advertising content of four publications of his choice. The breakdown showed one of them lagging way behind related magazines in food advertising. Lon thereupon spoke to food brokers and wholesalers he knew, to retail food dealers and consumers. In this way he learned what the food industry looked for when seeking an advertising outlet.

Based on this research he made an easel presentation that dramatized the magazine's power as a food advertising medium. Calling the advertising manager, Lon explained what he had done and was invited in to show his presentation. This proved he was well versed in the selling problems of the food industry. More important, he proved he could analyze a publication's editorial content and fit that into its advertising program.

In so doing, he fitted his past experience into the requirements of his new job.

ANSWERING HELP-WANTED ADS

If you have prepared a good prospecting letter, you have the basic material for answering ads promptly. You may vary your presentation to meet the needs expressed in the ad; but having thought out and put in writing the main selling points in your experience, it is simple to point them to the job in question.

When you answer a help-wanted ad, your letter may be one of several hundred replies. In that case the opening paragraph may spell success or failure. Right there it may be tossed aside -- or placed in the "possible" pile. <pg. 204>

Make the advertiser want to read on and find out what you can do for him. Pitch right in and offer him a service.

Most letters begin by acknowledging the ad. Only a few start off with what the writer has to offer. So when you do this your letter stands out. When John Angelo opened in this fashion he attracted interest -- and landed the job.

Box 839
New York Times

Dear Sir:

When I joined the staff of the Brite Star Laundry, I found my territory had less than one hundred customers.

In three months time I doubled the number of customers. In addition, I built up the use of other Brite Star services such as washing and stretching curtains and cleaning neckties.

Here is how I did it. (And John told his story.)

By this time his reader wanted to know how he did it. And when John went on to demonstrate with specific illustrations, he walked off with the job.

Let's consider three answers to a single ad. The head of the firm involved let us read the letter that got the job and two that failed. The ad read:

BOY, young, learn designing: good at color, drawings. X279 Herald Tribune.

---

1. Box X279
Herald Tribune
New York City

Gentlemen:

In connection with your advertisement in the New York Herald Tribune for June 17, I wish to submit my application.

I am a young man seventeen years old. I graduated from high school this month. I expect to attend college this fall, but would be eager to work this summer in order to help my financial standing.

I took two years of art in high school. I would be very <pg. 205> glad to send you some references from my teachers as to my ability and character.

Trusting to hear from you in the near future, I am

Very truly yours,

Marshall Pettey
322 E. Seventh Street
Brooklyn, N. Y.

---

2. Box X279
Herald Tribune
New York, N. Y.

Sirs:

I have just learned from your ad that you are in need of a boy to learn designing. Please consider my application.

I am thoroughly experienced in this type of work. My experience came in a course in art at the Central High School, from which I have just graduated.

Kindly let me know when I may have the courtesy of an interview.

Sincerely yours,

Albert Burnside
P.0. Box 76
Lakeside, N. Y.

3. Box X279
Herald Tribune
New York City

Dear Sirs:

I am very much interested in the opportunity which you advertise. Even before I had any art instruction I was doing color sketches.

I have just graduated from the Colby High School, where I took three years of art under Mr. J. A. Oberlin. As you may know, he was a commercial designer before he came here. He has said that my designs show considerable promise. This year he sponsored a competition for original ideas in design, and my color design took third place. He has also spoken of my perseverance in using new techniques. I am eager to learn more about designing and am prepared to go to evening art school to improve my work. <pg. 206>

I have done several posters for school and church activities, and window display cards for a friend of the family who has a beauty shop.

During my four years in high school I was never absent and was late only once. I am eighteen years old.

May I bring in some of my color drawings to show you? You can reach me by calling COlby 2-3478.

Very truly yours,

Manning Owens
48 Owenoke Road
Staten Island, N. Y.

You will probably agree that the employer's choice of Manning Owens was wise. But since these are typical examples of both good and bad job ad answers it is instructive to know why the one is good and the others poor. We will take each apart carefully.

As soon as the advertiser picks up your box-addressed envelope, he knows you are answering his ad. Then why waste your precious first paragraph telling him so? Both Pettey and Burnside throw away their first chance to arouse interest by doing just that. We have seen it done time after time.

Contrast this with Manning Owens' opening. First he expresses real interest in "the opportunity." Then he immediately speaks of his work in color sketching.

Clearly, Manning put himself in a "you" frame of mind and stressed what his reader most wanted. For the ad speaks specifically of "color drawing." Yet neither Marshall Pettey nor Albert Burnside make any reference to color.

The moral? Read help-wanted ads carefully and answer each point raised.

Marshall Pettey gives only one reason for wanting the job: "to help my financial standing." This views the job from his angle, not the employer's. The employer's needs come first.

In fact, since Marshall wants only a summer job he shows poor judgment in answering this ad at all. For the ad calls for a boy to "learn designing." If the firm intends to pay a boy while they teach him designing, they most probably want someone who <pg. 207> will stay with them for a while. They are not very likely to take someone on for just two or three months.

Manning, on the other hand, clearly shows he hopes to make design his career. This argues for some degree of permanence. As we have seen, beginners should use their school work and outside activities in the same way as an experience record. But they should spell out what they have done so the reader can quickly grasp it.

Marshall implies some ability by mentioning his "two years of art" and his references. But there is nothing specific for the employer to see and touch and feel. The same critique holds true for Albert. What's worse, he exaggerates in an almost ludicrous manner. Since he mentions no background except his high school art course, he can hardly be "thoroughly experienced in this type of work."

Use your school work as experience, but be intelligent about it. Show what you have done with dramatic illustrations -- then let the reader draw his own conclusions.

Here we have one of the don't's the letter-writing manuals write about: Don't draw conclusions about yourself. But, as we have seen, when you follow sales techniques, the do's and don't's take care of themselves.

Offering a service, backing up your offer with facts, and closing strongly will certainly take care of the do's. And if in the backingup part you offer a wealth of illustrations that make your talents shine, an occasional "don't" won't matter.

Manning handles his school work and outside activities beautifully. He gives evidence of success, especially in color design. He cites the approval of a teacher who had been a commercial designer himself.

Moreover, Manning adds a plus factor not mentioned in the ad but always desirable. He shows he is dependable. He does not say so baldly. He states a fact: "During my four years in high school I was never absent and was late only once." Then he allows the reader to draw his own conclusion.

Marshall's "Trusting to hear from you" close is weak and trite. You can say the same thing in a more positive way. "I look forward to hearing from you soon." <pg. 208> Albert's close is stronger. "Kindly let me know when" assumes the interview will be granted. That's good. But the sentence has a bad defect.

For he asks for "the courtesy of an interview." This implies the employer will be discourteous if he refuses an interview. It's much better to say "Kindly let me know when I may come in for an interview."

Manning's close is in the best selling tradition. He gives a reason for an interview: so he can show samples of "color drawings." Then he suggests a simple action: "You can reach me by calling . .

No wonder Manning's letter rang the bell. (If it had not been a blind ad, Manning undoubtedly would have said: "I will phone for an appointment.")

It's interesting to note that both the other boys wrote shorter letters. Brevity without content won't sell. Tell your story then stop. The length will take care of itself.

We said a bit earlier you must answer all the points raised in the ad. This brings up the question of salary. For many ads ask you to " State salary." This poses a tricky problem. That successful twenty-one-page letter we mentioned before began bluntly, "I want a $25,000 job." But that was a deliberate attention-getting device. The amount demanded so baldly was startling.

Generally, salary doesn't belong in the application letter - unless asked for. In making a sale, the price questions should usually be reserved until the prospect is interested enough to talk business. Otherwise, you might ask too much or too little. Either can cost you the job.

Nor does it pay to bargain. In short, reserving salary discussion for the interview is a good general rule.

But the advertiser wants you to name a salary. What to do?

Opinion is divided on this score. Still, we feel it's usually best to give the employer what he wants. He's the customer, and as you know "the customer is always right." To be considered you should generally answer the points raised.

If your letter vibrates with "sell" the advertiser will probably invite you in even if your salary requirements are not precisely <pg. 209> what he had in mind. Very often the employer's ideas on salary are quite flexible and vary in direct ratio with the force of the applicant's application.

One school of thought disagrees. By naming a salary at this point, it holds, you compete in an auction for unknown merchandise. They say you can attack the problem tactfully and still be considered -- and be in a stronger position.

You might say, for example, "When we get together for an interview I will be glad to discuss salary with you."

Handled this way you make your not answering the question a reason for an interview. But face it, doing this does not give the buyer what he wants.

You'll have to decide for yourself which stand to take.

Summing up our discussion of letters we find ourselves back at the same place we started.

1. Plan your opening to arouse interest. You can do this by offering a service, displaying interest, or by a unique approach. The first two are safer because they appeal to the prospect's selfinterest. That alone makes them original, and they can be made more so.

A beginner, for example, opened her prospecting letter as follows:

I have made a survey in my neighborhood to find out how many housewives use your product and why they like it.

The employer would surely like to know the answers too, so he'll read on to get them.

Allen Morgan, the general sales manager of a leading razor company, dramatized his opening sentence skillfully.

A man who tackled a selling job that "couldn't be done" and DID it in spite of prohibitive competition and generally adverse conditions; a man who waded into a saturated market.., one dollar tops... with an unknown five-dollar product <pg. 210>   ..and in one year gained complete national distribution, with sales of over a million dollars ... can do a real selling job for you.

This opening is notable for the way it wraps up in one package both offer of service and proof of performance.

Just a slight change can make a big difference. One girl changed:

"I can take dictation at 110 words a minute" into "I take dictation as fast as you are likely to give it."

This "you" thinking carried through her entire letter and made it stronger than the original one.

2. Back up your offer with proof. Use specific illustrations to show results and to let your personality seep through.

While your portfolio, resume, or letter will stand or fall on its content, appearance counts too. In form, the ideal letter is individually typed on a fair grade of paper with wide margins and short paragraphs. This allows more white space which makes for easier reading -- and looks better.

Use a good, substantial paper. In the higher salary brackets, a neat letterhead adds dignity.

If you send out a hundred letters or more at a mailing, it may pay you to have them reproduced by the Hooven process in which each letter is individually typed automatically.

Sometimes multigraphed or mimeographed letters are done so well that the fill-ins of name and address can hardly be distinguished from individually typed letters. These methods are more economical than the Hooven. Ask addressing and letter service companies which you will find in the classified telephone directory to let you see samples first since it's best to avoid a printed massmailing look.

Stepping up the appearance of your portfolio or resume is <pg. 211> somewhat more complex. One of the simplest ways to do this is through adroit use of headlines and spacing. Even the typewriter allows for variety in headlining.

They can be typed or underlined in red. Or, for important center headings, you can leave a S P A C E between letters. Pick out of each experience the salient point and headline it.

To show the value of arrangement and headline we reproduce the resume used by Mary Eastlake. The resume itself is a poor one. Mary is not sufficiently specific; in fact, we can't tell if she has had any experience at all. Nor is her training very unusual.

Yet her resume was read, and read in a favorable frame of mind, because it invited the eye. Its spacing and headlines are concrete evidence of the neatness claimed in the first paragraph.

QUALIFICATIONS OF MISS MARY EASTLAKE

ABILITY:

Capable of taking rapid dictation and transcribing accurately and neatly. Familiar with the different types of filing systems. Possess a knowledge of and have had practice in operating both cord and key types of private telephone switchboards; duplicating appliances; adding, calculating, and posting machines. Possess an understanding of business reference books and the preparation of data in typewritten or chart form. Thoroughly familiar with the duties of a secretary and appreciate the importance of being able to render more than stenographic or clerical service.

REFERENCES:

Mr. John B. Crabtree
Crabtreee Importing Company
63 Twelfth Avenue,
New York, N.Y.
Telephone: EMpire 3-4168

Miss Helen Barber
22 South 50 Street,
New York, N.Y.
Telephone: COl. 3-7421

EDUCATION:

Graduate of high school and School for Secretaries, New York, N.Y.

ADRESS:

32 South 40 Street
Brooklyn, New York <pg. 212>

TELEPHONE NUMBER:

HAvemeyer 2-3146

MISCELLANEOUS: Living at home with parents; good health; single; available immediately.

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